Making It Cute

I like to improve common items, to make them a bit more me. Nate teases me about my desire to make things cute, but he likes it. I think.
Today, between laundry and dishes, I convinced myself that I really should take pictures and make a post out of it. Because I'm sure you're dying to see, right?
First up, Suzy's breakfast. Oatmeal is the homliest of all breakfast foods, so I cute it up with a heart-shaped cookie cutter and rainbow sprinkles.


Isn't this pretty fabric? You'll never guess what it's on.


That's right, I sewed a coat for my spray bottle.
Next, my kitchen gloves. Just the Mr. Clean gloves from Walmart. Sooo plain. So I added a little lace trim. It may seem silly, but I have to wear those things three times a day, so I needed to enjoy looking at them. And they coordinate with my spray bottle and apron...though I admit I am the only one who cares!



And this is my lesson plan book. It came with a sterile green plastic cover that gave me chilly memories of grade school. I warmed it up with some fabric scraps.


Here's my daily planner. It was already cute on the inside (like so many of us) but very plain on the outside.


I just added a little ribbon to the cover to make it's outside more feminine.


Here is my Bible. It has a burgundy leather cover, half chewed up the spine by a puppy fond of over-stepping her bounds. Since it was the Bible Nate gave to me on the occasion of his second proposal to me, I made it this little cover to keep it protected from any future marauders.


I wanted a little journal in which I could write Scriptures that are significant to me. I looked many places for a cute one that was inexpensive. Finally I bought one with a plain cardboard cover for $4 at Borders. Or Barnes and Noble's. Or Books-a-Million. One of those bookstores that starts with a B. I knew it would be perfect, because I had enough fabric leftover from my Bible cover to make them match. How cute!

Look how cute they look with my coordinating sermon notebook, bought at the same B. bookstore:

For practicality, a 3 ring binder was ideal for my prayer journal. The plain white one I bought was so impersonal. I fixed it up with fabric from a vintage pillowcase and a scrap of ribbon.

Put all of them together, and it becomes clear the next thing I have to work on is developing a central color scheme:
Go here more people making it cute:

Dorkiness

I am a dork. No, no, don't make polite denials. I know it. I ENJOY being a dork. It's fun.
I love to read. I love to read history, and occassionally...grammar. Yes, that's how bad it is. Eats, Shoots, and Leaves was a great book! It's a book making fun of people's grammar mistakes, for you non-dorks.
The podcasts I listen to? Several BBC programs: Global News, From Our Own Correspondent, The History of the World in 100 of Objects, and Documentaries, a French Word-of-the-Day, and Grammar Girl. Yes, Grammar Girl. I listen to podcasts about adverbs.
Last month, on my weekly trip to the library, I was really pleased with the three books I brought home: Animals in Translation: Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior by Temple Grandin, The Dog That Drove Home, the Snake Eating Mouse and Other Exotic Tales of the Animal Kingdom by Vida Adamoli, and The Story of English: Revised Edition by Robert McCrum, William Cran, Robert MacNeil.
I start reading all my library books at once; I don't go through them one at a time. I'll tote them around to various rooms in the house as I'm working, and just pick up which ever one happens to be handy. Eventually one will pull ahead and I'll focus on it for a while.
I really liked Animals in Translation. There was a lot I doubted, but I thought the facts and insights into animal behavior were fascinating. That means, if you know me, you will avoid me for at least two weeks, in order to prevent yourself from being bored to death by "interesting" anecdotes from the book that I simply must inflict upon you. If you know me REALLY well, you will merely brace yourself. It's futile to resist.
The Exotiv Animal Tales wasn't as good, but I did like some of the stories. Try not to mention nursing, puppies, or snow to me for a while, or I'll tell you about the Welsh woman who was snowed in without formula, and nursed her newborn on her loyal German Shepherd, thus saving his life.
The Story of English was very interesting - about the history and development of various forms of English. I didn't finish it before I returned it. It was overdue, so I wasn't allowed to recheck it. I have to wait until Friday to find out how it ends. Ha!
I like being a dork. I have to go now, there's a tornado documentary on PBS.

Remodeling...

My blog that is. Excuse the mess and clashing colors. Nate's working on improving a header for me. As soon as he gets that finished, I'll put it up. If he does a good job, I may force...um...persuade him to do a whole layout.

Martha Speaks

Last night I cooked for company. We had ginger-glazed pork chops, cream potatoes, roasted corn, and a spinach salad with a little of everything in it. The night before? Bean burritos. As I was whisking the glaze, I realized this must be why Nate always invites people over!
Actually, we invite people over because we enjoy spending time with them, not because my husband is angling for a balanced meal. Mostly.
Anyway, when we have people over, I start preparing that morning. I spend the first half of the day cleaning. Maybe, if you come over to my house, you wouldn't notice that I dusted the towel racks. But I did. Because I love you. And because I'm crazy. But mainly it's love. Ok, that's a lie. It's crazy to dust a towel rack, and crazier to put it on a To Do list!
While I'm cleaning, Suzy's has one conversation topic. "When are my friends coming? Are my friends coming today? Is today the day my friends are coming? Are they coming after my nap? Are they coming? When are they coming? My friends, are they coming over to my house? Today? When are my friends coming? Will my friends come today? Is today the day my friends are coming over to my house after I nap but before I go night-night? Is it? Is it today?" Did that annoy you to read? Play it on a loop for 8 hours, and you'll have an insight into my mentality yesterday.
After lunch and getting Suzy down for a nap, (last words: "Are my friends coming over after my nap?") I am already tired. I get a shower and clean clothes, but no makeup. On a very good day, I have time to put on makeup. That is not today. I have to get busy making dinner, and I expect the world to just be grateful that I put on deodorant.
So I start cooking and cutting and cleaning (because it never stops) and bustling about. I have a To Do list of 21 items, and I am smoking through them, occasionally adding more as I think of it. Suzy is up now, and repeating her loop again. By 3 pm I tell her that if she asks me one more time when her friends are coming, I will run screaming into the street. I think I'm being funny. Suzy looks up, horrified, and begins to sob. "If you run away, I won't have a mommy anymooooore!" More sobs rack her tiny body, and big tears roll down her face. That, my friends, is a joke that bombed. So I scoop her up and kiss her and tell her that I will never run away or leave her. After a few minutes, she has calmed down enough to ask, "Are my friends coming over before I go night-night?" I run screaming into the street, and it goes down hill from there. Just kidding about the end. (I have to say that because my mom will think I really did.)
Nate comes home, and starts the grill. I go outside to ask him to help me shuck the corn - we've already established that I'm crazy, right? He asks me to bring him a cloth so he can clean the porch rail. This has not made it to my To Do list at all. I have things I have to do, and I have things that I want him to do that I haven't told him yet. If you could see in my head at that moment, it would just be "The corn! The corn! Just shuck the stupid corn!" I am working myself up to a good frazzle. I tell him no. He mentions it again. I go off like a bottle rocket. There was nothing good to see then. I'm thankful I took the time to slam the door first, or the neighbors would still be talking about it. When slamming the door is the highlight of your behavior, you are misbehaving!
It is so bad, that I instantly know. Sometimes you can try to justify yourself, but some times the Holy Spirit immediately convicts you. I apologize to Nate and ask his forgiveness. He forgives me, but he is hurt, and I must say he rather defiantly cleans one porch rail before shucking the corn. We now have one immaculate white porch rail; the others are still dingy yellow from pollen.
While he's taking it out on the porch rail, I get a call from an old friend. I update her on the day, leaving out my impersonation of fireworks. As she's saying bye, she adds, "Be a Mary and not a Martha!" Very rarely do you have a whole day's worth of issues summed in seven words. This was my entire problem. I was being the biblical Martha (with an unholy dash of Martha Stewart.)

"Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house.
And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching.
But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.”
But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things,
but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:38-42

I had so focused on my To Do list that I neglected to listen to Christ, in the process giving my daughter an abandonment complex and verbally abusing my husband. I repent.
When our guests arrive, I haven't set the table. I'm just starting the potatoes. I totally forget to grill hot dogs for the kids and end up microwaving them. And I don't care. We talk with our friends about the things the Lord has been teaching us through our trials. We listen and laugh and fellowship like brothers and sisters in Christ. I'm a Mary. Life's better that way.

After a Long Absence...

Last week I got an email from my mom, saying that she had went to the trouble of updating her blog as I requested, but she had checked, and as I hadn't posted in over a month, she was not going to feel guilty about ignoring hers. I got the idea that if I ever want to hear from her again, I had better write something! I procrastinated and finally pull myself to the computer, and I find an email from a friend pointing out that I haven't posted in a while!
I could lie and say that I had nothing to write about, but the truth is that my absence from my blog was chaotic and emotional, and most all of it is stuff I had a hard time even speaking out loud to people (so I mostly didn't) and I certainly don't want to publish it on the internet! But it's better now, so no worries!
So this is a post, to let all four of my readers know that another post is coming. I would go ahead and write something here, but that into just sort of kills the oomph of anything, doesn't it?

Knick-Knacks

I have held back on what I’m about to confess for fear of offending just about every other woman in America: I hate knick-knacks. Now, I do not hate them in your house. You can have them on every available surface and I’ll never say a word. I hate them in MY house. I hate moving them, dusting them, looking at them.*
I like my decorative items to be functional as well as pretty. Vases, fine. Bowls (preferably food-safe so they can double as serving bowls), great. Candlesticks, picture frames, little boxes that hold stuff, wonderful. Porcelain shepherdess, no. Crystal unicorn, no no no. My knick-knack collection consists of three Willow Tree figures that double as book ends.
Nate, however, does not share my horror of bric-a-brac. He tries to be accommodating, but occasionally our differences come to the surface.
This week we were attempting to get our guest room a little more guest-friendly. We took down a hideous and dilapidated bookshelf. I thought that was a good thing. I forgot that up on the top of that shelf, where I could barely see them, was Nate’s stash of knick-knacks. A word here about Nate’s knick-knacks: they are random, masculine, and ugly. They make a useless porcelain shepherdess seem fetching. The day he decided to display his preserved head of a baby alligator on his desk at church, instead of the guest room, was a happy day. His collection also includes a fake pile of dog poo.
So, while I’m grocery shopping, Nate is in the guest room, busy moving books and movies, when he decides to do something with his now homeless knick-knacks.
His solution? He strew them across the dresser and tv. When I came home I found the dresser – and I already dislike that there is a tv, dvd player, playstation, and an over-sized vase of flowers on it- now sported a wooden alligator figurine, a quartz alligator figurine, a minature Florida Gator football helmet, (notice a theme?) a picture of Suzy and her cousins at Christmas (which wouldn’t be bad at all, except they were all crying) a picture of his grandparents (fine) a brass thermometer, a boomerang, a signed baseball, a very small, wooden Chinese incense ball, three flat rocks, and the crowning glory- a Russian nesting doll of Boris Yeltsein. It had the added charm of opening up to reveal all the previous Soviet leaders back to Lenin.
Needless to say, I was appalled.
When I realized that we would never come to an agreement as to the attractiveness of such a display, I pointed out that our pre-school houseguests this week would probably destroy them. So Nate put them in a drawer, to be brought out at the appropriate time. I hope that time is not when my sister comes to visit next week, or anybody else for that matter.
All this is just the lead-up to this morning while making my bed, I noticed a Willow Tree figure had been moved from it’s post as bookend, and replaced with an exact minature replica of Minis Tirith. If you don’t know what that is, it looks like this:


Isn’t it lovely?
But the tops, the absolute tops was picture frame. Yesterday Nate had taken a frame with one of our engagement pictures off of the dresser and said he was going to put in on his desk at church. Isn’t that the sweetest thing? Wouldn’t you feel all sunshine and lollipops inside if your husband did that? I was touched. Until this morning, when I saw that the engagement picture, which had previously been right next to the alarm clock (thus the first thing he’d see in the morning) had been replaced with an autographed picture of Steve Spurrier. This is Steve Spurrier:

Yes, Steve Spurrier, Heisman trophy-winning quarterback of the Florida Gators and former National Championship winning coach of the same, has now usurped my place of honor.
I hate knick-knacks.


*This is excepting Christmas decorations and decorative crosses.

Miss Prim

This morning as I loaded the dishwasher, Suzy was working hard rolling out blue play-do with her beloved pink rolling pin. She was chatting with me about the state of my relationship: "You are Daddy's wife. You are just married. You're not his *woman*." She said "woman" like it was a bad word.
"But I am his woman," I answered.
She retorted, "Well! I'm not. I am a *lady*."
Well then.